Vivarium

The housing market sucks. When Dear and I first started looking for a house, we were so excited. We started early pandemic and were very close to one house. We came in second and, at the time, they came back with a counteroffer, but we weren't comfortable upping the cash at that point. We were told that the market would get better the next year... LOL! I think about that house on occasion. It was lovely, but it would have completely changed the trajectory of our lives. If we had gotten that house, we certainly would not have moved to Tampa, I wouldn't have gotten my Master's, and I wouldn't be teaching right now. The future is still uncertain, but I feel like it's less cloudy on this path we're on now. Speaking of the horrors of house hunting, let's talk about...

Vivarium (2019)

Before I get into this review, I want to admit right off the bat that I like Jesse Eisenberg and think he's underrated as an actor. I agree that a lot of his characters are samey, an underdog with a sardonic sense of humor, but it's usually a fun character, and his delivery works perfectly for that type of character. So yeah, I have seen this movie pop up for years, and I've always been curious about it, but I ultimately pulled the trigger because it starred Eisenberg.

The movie opens with a teacher, Gemma, doing a fun little exercise with her class of what seemed like 2nd graders. Once class gets out, one of the students notices several baby birds on the ground, dead. Gemma believes it's the work of a cuckoo engaging in what's called brood parasitism. Basically, it finds a nest, boots the other birds out, and leaves its eggs for the other momma bird to take care of it, and forces out the others. The way she explains it and the way the camera lingers on the dead baby birds is like a 50-foot sign that says, "HERE BE FORESHADOWING!"

A short time later, we meet Eisenberg's character, the boyfriend, Tom. He and Gemma are frustrated by the housing market and their inability to find a house to put down roots in. This movie came out in 2019, and they have no idea what kind of Hell house hunting is about to turn into in just one more year.

By chance, they wander into a real estate office for a community called "Yonder." That's where they meet the realtor named Martin, who... well, it's kind of hard to talk about Martin. There is something so off-putting about literally everything he does. While talking, he stands perfectly still with his arms at his sides, his inflection is weird, his stares linger a little too long and throughout the whole time he's trying to talk up the house, it seems like he's studying them. I've seen a LOT of movies, but I've never been creeped out by a character before. He wasn't aggressive or threatening, but there was just something so off about him and his awkward friendliness.

Martin convinces them to take a tour of Yonder, and midway through, they realize the entire community is empty and Martin's disappeared. Tom is pleased to get out of there with its assembly line of green painted houses, but no matter where they go, or how far they drive, they keep ending up right in front of building nine. With nowhere to go, they sleep in that house. The next morning, they follow the sun and keep walking until sunset, only to end up right back in front of building nine, only this time there's a cardboard box full of food. Tom decides he'd had enough and sets fire to the house, and both of them fall asleep outside. When they wake up the next morning, the house is back in perfect order, and there's another box. This time, it has a baby with a note that says if they raise it, they'll get released.

This movie is difficult to watch. It's just so full of misery. The baby grows at an alarming rate, and there's something so very off about the kid. His voice seems like they mixed a child's voice with something else, and it gives him a sinister way of speaking. The kid is always watching them, being cryptic and watching weird patterns on the TV. The movie never explains what those things are, but it adds to the creepiness this kid oozes at all times.

Gemma does her best to raise the child, but she always corrects him by saying she's not his mother. Tom, though... he feels a certain kind of way about this kid. If he doesn't get the exact amount of milk and cereal mix in his bowl, he just screams and keeps screaming until he gets his way. Tom decides he's had enough and locks him in their car outside in the hopes that either the kid dies or those who dropped him off will come and get him. It's worth noting that Gemma refers to the kid as "him" while Tom will only refer to him as "it."

This movie is difficult to watch. It's not gory and has very little violence, nah, it's just so depressing. In movies like this, there's always something to give our heroes some hope that maybe they'll be able to escape. They notice something they didn't notice before or find a door that could lead to freedom. This one? Every time you think they may be getting somewhere, the movie laughs and says, "Lol, nah!" It barely gives you any time to hope before it throws cold water all over the attempt.

At no point do you feel anything close to hope for these people. No matter what they try, it either immediately turns out to be impossible or gives them just enough light to pursue it until it becomes an obsession and ultimately leads to nowhere except for a more crushing reality about their situation.

I can't say that I liked it, but I was intrigued by the mystery, and I wanted to get answers. For the longest time, nothing really happens. You see this couple slowly losing their minds, neither liking what the other is doing, to the point where they're hardly ever in the same room together. Even when you get a small break from the morose atmosphere of the movie, that little shit comes along to ruin it either by accident or on purpose.

One part did make me laugh, though. It's like day 98 or so since they've been there, and the little shit is standing at the foot of their bed waiting for them to wake up. When they realize he's there, they sit up, and Tom flips him off. The kid responds in kind. Then Gemma flips him off, and the kid raises the middle finger on his other hand. It's funny because the two look completely drained, while the little shit is just mimicking them, with no clue about what that gesture means.

The movie, while weird, is, I don't want to say normal, but almost understated. It's not until near the end that Vivarium's pace goes from a Sunday drive down residential streets to the middle of the Autobahn. It's weird because it just gets super insane at the drop of a hat. Nothing in the hour and fifteen minutes leading up to this moment can prepare you for what you're about to see. I don't want to explain because it's so crazy that my eyes went wide during this moment. It doesn't make you forget about how you just watched 75 minutes of people being emotionally tortured into becoming shells of their former selves, but it is a cool and very surprising moment.

This is not a movie I'll ever watch again, but I'm glad I finally did get around to seeing it. The acting is good, the story is engaging, and the suburban hellscape they're living in creates such an oppressive atmosphere that you can't help but feel for these people. It does manage about 10 minutes of truly intriguing and awesome moments, but much like their other attempts at hope, it comes crashing down under the weight of helplessness.

Vivarium feels very much like an extended old "Twilight Zone" episode, and there's nothing wrong with that.

7 Dr. Chainsaws!