Cube

We were driving to the pumpkin patch today, and I was telling some banger jokes. When we got there, Lincoln said he was starting to feel sick, and then we suggested he step out of the car. Dear then said, "Come outside, get some fresh air, and away from daddy's jokes." She got me good. Anyways, let's talk about...

Cube (1997)

The movie opens with Death from "Supernatural" waking up inside a weird room with doors on the sides, the floor and the ceiling. Not exactly sure of what he's doing, he picks a door at random and crawls through, only to trigger a trap that gives him a pretty gruesome death. Outside of the Wrong Turn series, things don't tend to go well for that actor in movies or TV shows.

The movie comes back, and we meet a new band of heroes. Quentin, Rennes, Worth, Leaven and Holloway. They eventually meet up with another person trapped in the giant cube, an autistic man named Kazan. From the jump, they all show who they are and what we should expect of them. Quentin is a cop who wants to take charge, Holloway is a doctor, Leaven is a math student, Worth is made to appear shifty and Rennes is a convict called "The Wren," and he's famous for busting out of major prison facilities. In kind of a fun easter egg, every character's name is related to a prison. Anyway, when we first meet Rennes, he's clearly the most capable and confident at picking out which rooms are trapped, so it's obvious that he's the first one to go. He ends up wandering into a room that passes his test and is greeted by acid that literally melts his face off.

As the movie goes on, we see these people struggle to make it through the rooms while going on no sleep, food or water and a growing paranoia between them. The group didn't trust each other much to begin with, but now that they're trapped, all of them are looking for any way to make sense of their situation, and the easiest way to do that is to put a face on their faceless problem. So Quentin takes turns accusing each person and acting increasingly unhinged as the movie goes on. Granted, the movie throws out several red herrings with characters throwing side eyes, looking suspicious and seeming a little too excited to watch their companions fighting.

I was entertained by the movie, but it wasn't blowing me away. Even though it came out first, it felt too much like Saw, but not done nearly as well. That all changed in a heartbeat. Believe me when I tell you this, and I'm not exaggerating, but this movie had the best and most believable reason as to why the bad stuff was happening. Holloway is the paranoid one in the group and the most on the left. She blames the government, while Quentin, the righty stand-in, believes it was built by some sick, rich guy who is watching the whole thing for his amusement. In a movie like this, it's ALWAYS one of those two options, but this movie's explanation is perfect!

So Worth reveals he worked on the project that built this giant death cube. He was just a cog in the machine, and he helped design the outer shell. He says no one knew what they were working on, nor did they have any idea of anyone else who was working on it. At this point, Holloway is super pumped and feels vindicated that all her years of paranoia were spot on. She exclaims that's how the government works, they have all these people work on something without letting them know what it is. That way, it all gets pieced together, and no one has any idea what it is, so no one snooping around can figure it out. Worth, however, pours a hilarious amount of cold water on her theory.

You need to watch this scene. For those of you who don't have the time, let me break it down for you. He tells her there is no conspiracy, it's just a quote, "headless blunder operating under the illusion of a master plan." He goes on to say that at some point, someone said yes to the project, but they either got fired, voted out or sold it. Now, no one knows what its purpose actually is. But because no one wants to lose their fat paycheck, no one bothers to ask any questions, so they just keep working on it. When asked why put people in it to suffer, Worth says because it's there and the people in charge feel they have to use it somehow to justify its existence, despite knowing nothing about it. Because if you don't use it, you admit it's pointless, and it's bye-bye paychecks.

Let me tell you something, I absolutely LOVE that explanation. It's perfect and the most realistic scenario I've come across in a horror movie explanation. I pride myself on not getting political on this site, but that is a perfect metaphor for government. It's a giant blob that only gets bigger, and no one wants to actually fix it because fixing it would be admitting they made a LOT of mistakes and it would be unpopular and, for many, would mean the end of their political careers, and we can't have that. So we're going to keep throwing money and people in the cube to justify why we're here.

That, to me, is so much more plausible than a shadowy organization like in Trap Room that has a God-like ability to move chess pieces wherever it wants, while the police never even catch a whiff of the shenanigans. And, as someone working in media, I find a shadowy, supremely competent government agency able to cover its tracks even more laughable.

Anyway, back to the movie. I found myself invested in these characters and their struggle a lot more than I thought I would. Math was never my strong suit, but I really liked how the only way these people had to protect themselves was math. Each little door had a series of numbers, and they had to figure out what they meant or they'd die horribly. They also had to make sure Leaven stayed safe because she was seemingly the only person who was any good at it. Each time they cross into a new space, you hold your breath because you don't know how it's going to go.

As much as I enjoyed it, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention some things I didn't care for. The movie sets up red herrings where you think each character may be the actual antagonist, and most seem to be thrown in there for no other reason than the director wants you to think it. Like, there's one character that keeps making a face when things get violent, but it goes nowhere. The movie paints them as someone to be suspicious of, but it doesn't amount to anything, and it's not as clever as the movie wants it to be. Also, I buy one person turning heel and kind of going rogue, but I really don't buy how the movie went about it.

With that said, I still really liked it. It was fun, interesting and unique. Each character brought something different to the movie. The rooms all looked the same, except they were lit with a different color, and the bare and sterile space added to the feelings of hopelessness the characters were feeling. It also doesn't let you get bored because it spaces out the big scenes perfectly that you can never get comfortable or bored with what's going on. I also like how the ending doesn't spell everything out; you need to make your own conclusions. I can be hit or miss on that tactic for filmmakers, but I think in this movie's case, it was earned. Plus, my goodness, do I love the explanation for what's going on.

9 Dr. Chainsaws!