Scary Movie 6

Mr. Pat

2 minutes ago

6 min read

As a former Floridian, I'm happy the Tampa Bay Rays are going to the World Series. I've lived in four states and didn't like any of the hometown teams; in fact, I ended up disliking them more when I lived in the state. The exception being the Tampa Bay Rays. I think partly because I look good in those colors, but I also liked the team's scrappiness while playing in front of a nonexistent crowd. A few years removed from having their stadium ripped apart by a hurricane, here's hoping they can win it all. So yeah, let's discuss...

Scary Movie 6 (2026)

I remember seeing the original in theaters when it came out back in 2000. I also remember loving it and cracking up in the theater. I watched the second one and enjoyed it, but I don't remember much from it outside of the And 1 commercial parody and "Take my strong hand!" I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but the third one is the best in the franchise. It's a different kind of humor, but I found it funnier and a bit cleverer than the other two. Four was absolute garbage that I hated, and I never watched five.

Despite any bad you're going to read here, I'm glad this movie exists. I can't imagine the disappointment that the Wayans must have felt at having their franchise taken from them. They were so pissed they told Anna Faris not to take the role in the third one and then stopped talking to her for about two decades until they finally got the rights back and decided to make another one. As glad as I am that the Wayans got their baby back, I think I may have aged out on a lot of the humor in this movie. It's a very different world now than it was in 2000, but a lot of their stuff feels the same. But I'm not looking for Stanley Kubrick in Scary Movie, especially when the biggest theme is, "This is our franchise, and we're never giving it back."

There's no point in discussing a plot because this movie isn't about plot. Even the flimsy connective threads straining to hold the narrative together don't matter because, at a moment's notice, the movie just takes a detour to throw in another parody. The main mashup is Halloween 2018 and Scream 5. In the years since, Cindy has become a Jamie Lee Curtis hermit, waiting for Ghostface to return, while Ghostie is targeting her kids to either take them out or lure Cindy out; it's an ongoing debate throughout the movie.

That's basically it, but there's nothing wrong with that. As I mentioned, no one is going into this movie for the plot. I debated not even discussing it at all, but I figured I should give you at least a baseline. The movie brings back virtually everyone from the first two, even the minor characters, except for Shannon Elizabeth. I was kinda bummed that we didn't get anything from Simon Rex; he was the star of three, four and five, but I understand why the Wayans wouldn't want him there. Seeing the old cast was fun; even Doofy makes an appearance, even if it makes no sense.

He plays the Dewey role, but he's still acting mentally challenged despite being the mastermind behind the original murders, and it was shown to be an act at the end of the first movie. Even though he's a good guy in this, the movie mentions that he was a killer but ignores that he's not really handicapped. They get around the fact that he should be in jail in one of the funnier gags. When asked, he tells them he was pardoned because he was involved in January 6th. That got a laugh out of me.

Like I mentioned earlier, a lot of the jokes don't even come close to landing. It does a lot of a certain type of humor that I'm not a fan of. They just have someone say something extremely inappropriate at any given moment, and you're supposed to laugh because it was unexpected and it's coming from an unexpected person. Most of the time it's a kid saying the "F" word in response to something. I'm not against kids swearing in movies, but when it comes off as, "Isn't it funny this kid is swearing?!" it doesn't do anything for me. It's the lowest of low-effort comedy.

Still, there are some scenes and moments that made me remember why I loved the original so much. There's the love interest of one of the daughters, who is playing the role of Richie from Five. He's quite clearly the killer, and after the first couple of Ghostface encounters, he's sporting bruises from where Ghostie was attacked. It is incredibly hilarious, seeing him try to explain how he got a black eye in the exact spot Ghostface was hit. As funny as that is, later in the movie they overdo where he's giving it away, and it loses its punch.

There's also a scene where Ghostface is attacking Brad, Brenda's son. He comes out of a tool shed with a whip, and Brad asks him why he's doing the 12 Years a Slave thing; Ghostface awkwardly tells him that he had just found the whip inside and it was a coincidence. The camera goes to Brad's disbelieving face, and when it goes back to Ghostface, he's setting up a noose on a tree. When Brad sees it, he says, "Come on, bro. That's even worse!"

Ghostface realizes and frustratedly sighs, "I didn't mean it that way! Some of my best victims are black." It's such a silly little back-and-forth that you can only get in the Scary Movie franchise, but it's so funny to watch play out. Ghostface will kill you and your whole family, but it's 2026, so the last thing he wants is to be viewed as racist.

That leads to the big problem: this movie has some downright hilarious moments, but they're so few and far between so many jokes that don't land. But it fires so much at you throughout its runtime, so it's bound to have something you'll enjoy in there. You just need to be patient. I do have to give it credit, though; the jokes are pretty even-handed. Like, it doesn't just attack one side; there are jokes in here that those on the left won't like. I remember Reddit freaking out over the "They/them" joke from the trailer, and one that will annoy the right, like Cindy being Republican now so she can't like black people. It's refreshing to see a movie that doesn't plant its flag and just spend the runtime attacking one group.

I have to say, the line of the movie comes during the second Sinners parody. The young group comes dressed as the three vampires wanting to party and do some half gay stuff. Ray then comes into the scene dressed as a cowboy and asks, "Why just half gay?" It was in the trailer but still got a laugh out of me.

There's one more thing I want to discuss before we wrap it up. One of the new kids is trans. Jess is the son of Greg, played by Lochlyn Munro from the first one. Jess' transition was relatively recent, so Greg is struggling to keep it straight and messes up sometimes, but it's not malicious, just out of habit. It's nothing too out there or even all that funny, but there's a reason for it. Their interactions mirror Marlon's early interactions with his son Kai. It's a surprisingly earnest look at Marlon's personal life that I wasn't expecting. I don't want to get into the shitstorm that debate can kick up; I was just surprised at the actual human side of the ridiculous movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx3yd2bQ9To

The Ghostface reveal is funny because there ends up being a whole bunch of them when the movie jumps into a John Wick parody. Then we get two different fakeouts over the killers, with the final reveal hammering home the theme of the movie. I like that the movie plays it up like the new arrivals are going to carry the franchise into the future, but that immediately gets the rug pulled out from under it with the Wayans standing tall.

The highs of this movie, literally and figuratively, are very high. But the lows are too low and too frequent. I'll still probably see every one they do, except if they make a trash one like four. I do have to respect that the end of the movie really hammers home that this franchise is their baby, and there isn't anybody that's going to take it from them.