• Mr. Pat

Transylvania 6-5000

Updated: Jul 19, 2021

The 297th Review!

Superman is such an unbelievable character. I can buy an alien powered by our sun having super strength, speed, ice breath, laser eyes, etc. But what I can’t buy is Ma and Pa Kent surviving Clark’s toddler years. President Baby started a hitting phase and I don’t believe for one second that young Clark wouldn’t cause catastrophic damage in his terrible twos. You take his rattle and he’s sending that person into orbit no doubt. But I digress, today we sat down and watched...


Transylvania 6-5000 (1985). Amazon Prime

Haha, this movie... Two tabloid reporters, played by Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley Jr. are sent to Transylvania after their overeager boss comes by a tape of tourists being attacked and eventually running away from what they call “Frankenstein.” For the record, no one refers to him as “Frankenstein’s Monster,” it’s always “Frankenstein.”


So off they go and start their investigation. Jeff Goldblum is very Jeff Goldblum about the whole thing, cracking wise and being sarcastic about everything while Begley is earnestly investigating the claims.


One thing that really stands out to me is the cast. For a movie like this it has a lot of big names in it. I mentioned Goldblum and Begley already; but it also has Geena Davis, Jeffrey Jones, Michael Richards well before he became famous as Kramer on “Seinfeld” and finally the always delightful Carol Kane.


It’s an incredibly stupid and silly movie but it’s fun and wallows in its goofiness. Throughout their stay they come across a mummy, a werewolf, a vampire a mad scientist and the aforementioned Frankenstein’s Monster, but there’s a bit of a twist to them. Nothing really comes from them except for Geena Davis’ outfit, my goodness!


This movie has a lot of fun and funny moments in it, but the story that holds it all together and how everything wraps up is not the strongest, still the highlights make it worthwhile. Michael Richards’ take on the creepy bellhop is a lot of fun. He’s constantly invading people’s spaces, doing stupid practical jokes with fake legs getting stuck in doors and falling, he falls a LOT and I’m sorry, but it gets funnier the more he’s on screen. Plus the castle’s ringtone is catchy as hell and makes me want to dance along like Kramer does later.


The mad scientist really entertaining too because his mania is strictly confined to the lab. It’s humorous seeing his yelling, screaming and insulting people then snap back into super-friendly doctor as soon as he steps out. Then there’s a sequence where he’s fighting with Goldblum and he keeps going in and out of the lab and it got a genuine laugh out of me.

I had watched this when I was younger and I remember Carole Kane annoying me, but now that I’m much older, she’s the highlight of this movie. There’s a scene where she and her husband are preparing a meal for the guests and she lovingly keeps getting in his way making the whole process as difficult and sweet as can be. It’s pretty funny when you watch it but gets even funnier when I learned the director gave them the freedom to do whatever they wanted. He just told them to cut fruit and gave them free reign to make the scene their own. Carole Kane is a treasure.

Like I mentioned, it’s not a good movie and the dialogue is pretty weak at parts, but it’s entertaining and the performances are solid. It is extremely 80’s and normally I’m a huge fan of 80’s camp, but this one doesn’t have the same sense of fun as some of the others. Still, if you want to turn your mind off and watch something silly, this isn’t a bad choice. You’ll laugh, you’ll roll your eyes and you’ll have a good time.


6.5 Dr. Chainsaws

Transylvania 6-5000

Amazon Prime

1h 34min

1985

PG

Tabloid reporters Jack Harrison and Gil Turner are sent to Transylvania with two choices: find the Frankenstein monster or find new jobs. But before the jumpy journalists can dig up their big story, they must first face the horrors of an extremely clumsy butler, a nymphomaniac vampire and a semi-mad doctor, as well as assorted mummies, werewolves and more Transylvanian oddballs.

Directors Rudy De Luca

Starring Jeff Goldblum, Carol Kane, Ed Begley Jr.

Genres Comedy

Subtitles English [CC]

Audio languages English


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