The 222nd review overall!
One good thing about horror movies is it’s easy to get lost in them. When you have a good one, you can shut out the politics of the day and the name calling that goes on. I work in news, it can get really exhausting, really quick. After work, I came home, enjoyed a smooth and delicious Land Shark and watched...
Terrifier (2017)
Someone on the page suggested I watch this one. I went to Netflix and it had a 97% match, so I was fairly confident I’d enjoy it. I did not. At all. Here’s the story, two young ladies had too much to drink at a party and while deciding they cannot drive, they come across a creepy clown staring at them. They eventually walk to a store, that seems to never close, displaying that it sells “Wines, Pizza, Liquor.” From there the clown silently stalks and eventually starts killing.
I had some big problems with this movie. Let’s start with my minor nit. One of the girl’s is in the car and a news alert comes on about the killer clown murdering two people. That’s pretty standard fare, but the young lady is listening to it on an AM station. The clown, I guess, is immortal, but I find that more believable than this character listening to anything on an AM station. Another nit, is they use the all-too-common man listening to headphones so he can’t hear the murder going on right behind him.
Now let’s get to the big problems. Everyone in this movie is so unbelievably stupid. I get that in a horror movie, people have to make bad decisions in order to move the plot forward, but everyone is so dumb it gets frustrating. Here’s a short list, every time one of them incapacitates the clown with a weapon, they IMMEDIATELY drop it once he falls to the ground. The main protagonist stabs him with a scalpel, drops it and runs off. Later she hits with him a steel pipe, drops it and runs off, then she stabs him in the back with a kitchen knife, drops it AND RUNS OFF! The last time she did it, I legitimately got angry. Then she gets a 2X4, beats the shit out of him, but stops to taunt him long enough so he can shoot her.
The protagonist’s sister comes by to pick up the drunk ladies. She then witnesses the clown murder someone, and instead of leaving the same way she came in, where her car was waiting for her, SHE RAN DEEPER INTO THE BUILDING! Some may argue that she didn’t want to leave her sister, but the first thing she does when she gets out of his sight is try to open a window to jump outside! Plus, there are times in this movie where people are being chased and they know the clown is behind them. When they come to a locked door, they keep weakly trying to open it long enough for the clown to slowly walk up and grab them.
Then it takes people FOREVER to call the police. The girls clearly know the clown is following them and is being really creepy, but never ask the business owner to call the police. The clown eventually gets thrown out of the business because it smears poop on the walls, and no one calls the police. The girls leave the place and decide to walk back to their car in the middle of the night and see they have a flat tire and STILL don’t think to call police. There’s also an exterminator in the building spraying for rats. While calling his partner, the clown hits him with a hammer and smashes the phone. What does his partner do? He doesn’t call the police that’s for sure! He drives to the building and keeps calling the phone with no answer. Still no call to the police. He eventually finds a spare key and then gets murdered.
I was so annoyed, I posted this to Leighann’s wall at two in the morning... “Did you tell me to watch Terrifier? I’m watching now, these characters are infuriating.”
The one thing that’s enjoyable about it is “Art the Clown.” Despite his near omnipresence, he looks creepy and is a pretty good character, the actor was a former mime and plays it well. But then we get to the ending. It’s so stupid, and so cliche but it was the perfect terrible ending to a terrible movie.
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