• Mr. Pat

House

Updated: Jul 19, 2021

The 63rd review!


Yes, it's everyone favorite time of the year, where once a day people get to see their favorite Resident Evil baddie on their news feed before scrolling past. It's that time of year when I eat a bunch of Count Chocula and watch horror movies, it's "Mr Pat's 31 Days of Halloween"! 

Well, I didn't want to go to the video store without Becca, and I can't start off with something big at the beginning, so I went through the dredges on Netflix to watch


House (1986)

The only thing that needs to be said is look at when it was made. It is a VERY 80's horror movie. Some times that's not a bad thing, The Blob was incredibily 80's but it was also a lot of fun. This movie doesn't seem to know what it wants to do. It has some decent scares in it, but then throws in some really goofy campiness. Here's the story...

Old lady in a big house hangs herself. Nephew is a famous writer who is having writer's block so he decides to go live in his recently deceased aunt's house because he grew up there and the isolation could be good for him. He ends up seeing a ghost of his aunt who tells him to leave, the house tricked her into killing herself and it'll trick him too.


That's the last time you see her and the last time anything scary happens. The movie gets really goofy after that. He starts having Vietnam flashbacks about his friend (voice of Two Face in Batman the Animated Series) who makes the most awkward faces when trying to look intense. Eventually he's supposed to take point with the main character and he loses the rest of the squad because of course he does I guess. He ends up getting shot, the protagonist freezes and won't kill him, so he gets dragged off by the Viet Cong while yelling, "I'm gonna get you!" It reminded me of this 80's moment... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_S1F1Zha_k.


If Netflix would have been honest with me and told me it was horror/comedy I would probably be kinder to it. But it has a few decent moments, a scary scene or two, and a lot of weirdness. I think I spent too much time already on this movie so that's it, day one is in the books.

4.5 Dr Chainsaws!

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